Welcome to Jesie’s Secret Corner.

Love, Jesie.

That simple
Beautiful thing
Coming out
From the heart

Groundbreaking
Shaking
Shocking
Can you handle it?

Helsinki, July 2011

That annoying alarm sound
My God, is it seven already?
‘Ten more minutes’ mumbles me
Pulling the duvet closer

‘Ok, i gotta get up!’
Fifteen minutes to eight
Jump out of the bed
Run into the shower

Feel fresh or somewhat clean
I pour the espresso into my cup
Blowing my morning cigarette smoke
Out from my lips

Mmm, warm omelette tempts me
Or cornflakes with strawberry chucks maybe
But hell, its twenty to nine?
Bus leaves in five minutes!

Catching my breath
Running behind
The bloody bus
‘Have a wonderful day!’

My Love
With every heartbeat
My thoughts filled
By him

In all those lonely nights
He is so near, so far away
Holding him close
While sleeping

I found him in my dreams
With angel’s smiles and angel’s wings
So beautiful and bright
As he pushes me away

The afternoon walk
Across the graveyard
Accompanied by small talks
From a stranger wearing a grey beard

Yellow leaves on the ground
Sheer mist in the air
The stranger pulls me close
Soothe kisses my ail

Tombstones and candle lights
Witnesses of our scene
The church bell even rings
What the fuck does this mean?

Should I open up my door
And let him in?
Or should I ignore all
Runaway with my fear?

Wandering about
Til both of your feet bleed
With doubts
Flying inside your head

Too many people
Try to get under your skin
Fucking weasels
Don’t ever let them in

Then comes the holy war
Confusions take control
Friend or foe?
You decide, first you shoot them all

Friends come crawl back
Bring you sweet candy bags
Foes run like fags
With tails between their legs

Victory
Melts in your mouth like cotton candy

Standing alone
Waiting for the breaking dawn
Everything is pretty much blown
And everyone is pretty much gone

Did I get you wrong?
Or maybe I never got you at all
But bygone is bygone
So don’t bother to give me a call

Shut your mouth for once
And see what damage you have done

Some shattered dreams
Lies and hypocrisies
God damn!
Is that all you can offer me?

Away from me
You are not welcome here
Take your poison with you
And all your bloody lies too!

Tempted
Like Eve giving in to the snake
Intrigued
This can not be it!
Isolated
Alone with the burning hatred

Another day
Another story
Another play
Another glory

Don’t make me stray
For the victory
You made me
Fucking pay

But I’m scared
I have to believe
But I’m scared
To find the wrong relief
In you

And so I hated you
For what you’ve done
I hated you
For what you’ve done

Too much
To unleash
No other way
You ought to pay

Lain hari
Lain cerita
Yang akhirnya
Hanya
Luka

He comes in to my place
Opens up my fridge
Throws his six-pack in
Rushes in to my shower

Several gulps of beer later

´Oh, looks like you washed your hair, Dean? ´
´Yes, Lynn, smells nice, don’t you think? ´
His long black hair is wet
His cheap shampoo smell is stinging

Several gulps of beer later

Laying his wet haired head
On top of my bare lap
What the heck?
He cannot do that

´I’m staying the night here,
Wife is out of town.’
Exclaiming his will
No matter what I feel

Several gulps of beer later

My body’s spread on the floor
Stomach down
Huge palms roaming about
My booty and my pous

SUPPOSE HE’S GIVING ME A MASSAGE

Rush of blood climbs up my face
Raging pulse my heart race
In disbelief my eyes pop
Staring at my boobs his eyes pop

MOTHERFUCK
I HAVE GOT TO MAKE HIM STOP

Mommy, I want to go to school
Says the little girl wearing a dreary look
Her way too small, her dress looks foul
Her big brown eyes are dull

Sweetheart, one day you will go
Mommy lies
A smile cuts open her lips by force
A bitter one, everyone can know

Hand in hand they walk
Through the waste-yard they call hope
Digging on – dig on
For something they would call gold

The poor little girl named Cinta
Seven dreadful years of her life are gone
Snatched by the cruelness of the metro-pole
Dragged along its streets and its hideous ghetto

What will become of you
O dear, dear little Cinta
When all you do
Is digging out trash for your spoonful of food

No such thing as playing all day long
Let alone possessing a doll
Not knowing that chocolate tastes good
My heart sinks for the thoughts of your sorrow

Helsinki, 20.5.2011
(Happy Independence day, Indonesia.)

Sitting by the still lake
Cold beer bottle in hand
Dead fish burning on the grill
You are nowhere to be seen

Looking out of the window
A glass of red wine now
The room’s flooded by candle lights
It’s another dark night

Walking outside few minutes after midnight
Minus twenty and horribly windy
I thank God for the Christmas brandy
And curse Him for hiding You away from me

Lying on the grass
Summer sky’s kissing my brown face
A cheap bottle of chardonnay
Luck ain’t on my side

Watching the world goes by
Alone, up in my box by the rainbows
Third spliff burnt to ashes
Not a glimpse of You

Sitting by the window
Frozen sea over the horizon
Joined by the starry night
Cognac, brandy, whiskey, red wine, white wine
You name it!

Yet,
Still no other light
Except for the one
Shining out of your smiles and your heart